You come into my life unexpectedly and against all odds. Tall, strong, handsome. Using all your charm you lead me down the path and I take your outstretched hand and walk beside you. Our bodies mold together and perfectly curve into one. It’s as if we have created the mold ourselves. We feel the explosions and can’t get enough. Stars, shining bright, guide us. 

But it can’t last. It’s too much. Too fast. And you let me go. I stumble and you aren’t there to catch me. My heart aches and there is nothing I can do. I break down and sob. And then you are gone. 

Trouble in paradise

I haven’t written anything for more than a week and it will probably be another week until I do. My boyfriend and I broke up and I am in depressed mode so I promise to be back in a week or so when I can scrape myself out of bed. Hope you all don’t give up on me despite that. 

Day Seventy five – Valentine’s

Remember when I said we would go out to dinner on Sunday instead of Saturday to avoid the crowds and crazy $$ ?
Well, despite all of our fighting lately, my boyfriend was pretty sweet today for Valentine’s. He surprised me with brunch at my favorite place and then bought movie tickets for the evening for a chick flick I have been wanting to see. He even bought me those white pinkish roses which I love. It was all very sweet. So I guess he was the planner this time around!
I bought him a massage for tomorrow and booked dinner tomorrow, not knowing what he had planned of course. How fun! Now it is like a double celebration…yeah!
What did you all do today?

Day seventy four – bonus

Today we got our bonuses as I mentioned earlier this week. I was so glad because even though the store isn’t doing that great I still got a pretty good bonus. This will definitely help my situation but it also gives me hope that if I ask for a raise I might get it. My friend at the store suggested that I wait until our annual reviews occur in March because she says that usually when they give a good review they are more likely to approve a raise. I don’t mind waiting another month for it if it means a better chance of actually getting one. I just hope that I don’t miss the opportunity. Anyhow I have to decide how much of my bonus I will spend right away and how much I will save away. Tough problems huh 🙂 ?
I am happy because I spent money on the trip to Vegas with my sister and didn’t know if I would have anymore to spend on another fun trip this year but now….I have to start planning…girl’s weekend or romantic getaway? (I will see how the situation with my boyfriend plays out before making that decision…).

Day seventy three – boyfriend trouble

Ok so I am going to open up a little more today and tell you about my recent woes. This might be the worst time ever before Valentine’s Day to fight so much with my boyfriend but I feel like that’s all we have been doing lately. We are at each other’s throat constantly and just bicker and criticize each other. We have been together for three years so it isn’t crazy to have ups and downs but I don’t see it getting better. It isn’t even important things that we are fighting about. It’s just random everyday stuff. I do still love him but I am feeling drained from all of this. I wonder if we should go to a counselor or something but isn’t that what you do after you get married? If we are already having issues before getting married, then does this relationship make sense? I just don’t know anymore 😦

Day seventy two – Valentine’s Day Plans

With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I checked in with my boyfriend to see if he had planned anything or wanted me to do it. Of the two of us, I am the planner. But on some occasions he likes to take charge to show what a gentleman he is. The problem with Valentines is that everyone wants to do the same thing so hotels are crazy expensive and restaurants charge $100+ per person and with all that and the mass crowds, it is really hard to enjoy the day. I suggested we go out the following day instead because it really is the thought that counts. He didn’t love it because how would that sound to people he knows? Like he is cheap…but then he heard the cost of a dinner on Saturday and decided to be “big” about it and go out on Sunday instead…I am surprised this phenomena hasn’t caught on yet with the younger folks. They of all people would be the ones to say screw the real date. I will take the cheaper option and go out the next day. But hey if more people would do it then Sunday would become super expensive too and then where would that leave me and the rest of us who don’t want to spend $100+ on dinner?

Day seventy one – awkward conversation


So this week we get bonuses at our store and I am wondering if it is a good time to have a conversation with my boss about a raise. I haven’t gotten a raise for a year and a half and I did really well on my evaluations this year. Usually after bonuses merit increases happen so it is now or never. I don’t know how to do it though. My boss isn’t the easiest to talk to and he doesn’t exactly “invite” you in if you know what I mean. So how do I start it and what do I say? I never had that conversation before. A year and a half ago I got the raise because I was doing well and had been promoted but now I am in the same job and have to prove my case. Any tips out there? I am in the top 10% of employees but the store isn’t doing too great so I don’t know if they could afford a raise or not. Ugh….I wish this would just magically happen. Is it the female side of me that’s so hesitant? Would guys have this problem too?

Day seventy – Maureen’s hair disaster


I worked the closing shift today so I was able to spend the morning with Maureen at the hair salon. If you remember, Maureen is my friend with the red wavy hair and the gorgeous features. Her only problem is her eyes since she is blind as a bat practically and has to wear think glasses. Anyhow, Maureen was looking for a drastic change and decided to go blonde. Yup. Blonde. Don’t ask me why. But her regular hair salon is closed on Mondays and this was her day off. So she found another one through Groupon and boy was that a mistake. Not only did her hair not turn out blonde but rather strawberry blonde but the stylist also didn’t evenly color and the bottom of her hair is still red. What a mess. We only noticed it after we left there so she couldn’t demand a fix right away but she was so miserable and upset. Because she had gone on a limb and it really turned out pretty disastrous. Lesson learned. Honestly though she is so gorgeous that it isn’t like she can’t walk out in public or anything. It’s just that it needs to be fixed. And preferably not by the amateur who created the problem in the first place….

Day sixty nine – decluttering


I saw this show where they come and declutter your home. Usually it showcases people who are borderline hoarders but it got my juices flowing. I decided that I needed to declutter too. So I spent 5 hours (yes, 5!!) throwing away and organizing on Sunday. It was insane. My boyfriend really thought I was insane because I told him I couldn’t see him since I was organizing. It’s almost like the excuse of “I’m washing my hair so I can’t see you tonight” 😉
Anyhow 5 hours and 10 donation bags + 2 garbage bags later I was finally satisfied. It was euphoric. I really felt happy glancing around the place. I only hope I don’t get the urge now to fill the void with new things.
Just to clarify, I am not OCD or anything like that. I can’t really explain it but it is a good feeling when there is more white space in the house. Am I crazy?